When Did He Grow?
‘Mommmmmmmm……’ hearing his voice I almost fell from t...
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When Did He Grow?
‘Mommmmmmmm……’ hearing his voice I almost fell from the chair, but ran towards the door.
Oh god…not again! I silently said a prayer and saw him, flushed and smiling.
‘Are you hurt again? Where? How? ‘ I started searching his face, and slowly came down to his neck, chest, arms, legs and feet. He seemed all right.
‘Oh is it your finger?’ He had a septic in one of his fingers and it was not healed properly.
‘No, mom I am not hurt’. He chuckled.
‘But why were you shouting?’
‘Pleeeeeeeease don’t say no,’ he hugged me and looked expectantly into my eyes.
‘No? For what?’
‘You will not stop me, promise? I am going with chachu. It is my vacations, and I want to go pleeeeeeeasseeeee.’
So this was all to go with chachu? I smiled. I knew he never could go anywhere without me, so I smiled back and said…Ok. I saw his chachu behind him, smiling at me. He too knew that there is some drama coming out of it.
He was ecstatic with joy.
‘Yiiiipppppeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ‘ He jumped in the air.
‘You are the bestest mom in the world, no … no… universe. ‘
I lovingly looked at him but my heart started sinking, what if he really goes with him? It was still three days, and I was sure he will change his mind. He started packing his suitcase. Keeping all the clothes from closet in the suitcase.
‘You need help?’ I tried to help.
‘Nope, I can do it.’ He said confidently.
‘Where is my under garments and socks?’
‘Don’t worry I will do that.’
You sure?
‘Yeah.’
I was working on computer and giving side-glances to his packing venture. Everything was piled up and he was trying to shut it off. I told him to leave it like that. He saw me and came to me.
‘You sure that I can go?’
‘Yes, if you want to.’
‘Yeah I want to.’
‘Then it’s fine with me.’ He looked at me, not believing. But I put a serious face, standing there for some moments he left the room. I called him back
‘Listen, you sure wanna go?’ I held him close.
‘Yeah,’ I could feel the quivering in his voice.
‘Ok then don’t feel sad.’
‘I am not sad but I think you are.’ This was a perfect emotional scene but my daughter came and spoiled everything.
‘What’s this mama? Don’t make him a sissy, let him grow.’
‘What? Do you think I am stopping him? In fact I want him to go for some days so that I can do things without any disturbance.’ I came to my defensive guard.
He slept with his chachu that day just to make sure that he could live without me for some days. I was still sure that he would refuse at the eleventh hour. But how wrong I was!
So it was the date when he was leaving. He standing with his backpack, looking handsome, big and confident. Bus was late so we decided to have tea. He and me sat in the car. I was having tea and he was eating his chips. Suddenly he got down and got an empty disposable glass.
‘You want to share tea?’
‘No, it’s for you.’
‘Why? I am having. Why empty glass?’
‘Keep your glass in this, you won’t feel hot.’
My god!! He was watching my struggle to drink tea from that disposable glass so he thought to give me another glass to make it easier for me!! Now, how could I stay unmoved? There were tears in my eyes, but I did not let him see. My baby was certainly grown up.
There were so many students, who were also going on some trip. Boys and gals from some college, having fun, clicking snaps and laughing.
‘Ma, is it fun to be in college?’
‘Yeah…it sure is.’
‘Where are they going?’
‘Must be on excursion, like Didi went to Goa some months back.’
‘But Didi is not in college.’
‘School trips also go to different places. When you grow a little more, your school will also take you.’
‘They don’t miss their mom and dad?’
This was the moment, where we both were very vulnerable. Daughter’s words started jumbling in my head…. ‘Please mom, don’t cry on the station. And DON’T try to stop him, or don’t try to BLACKMAIL him EMOTIONALY for God’s sake.’
Yeah… yeah…I made a mental note NOT to do any such thing.
‘Go and ask them.’ I smiled.
He looked puzzled and we both started laughing.
‘I will call you everyday.’
‘Do whenever you miss me.’
‘No, I won’t call you that time.’
‘Why?’
‘I would feel like crying then. So I would call only when I am happy and not sad.’
Control…my mind started sending signals. I must not start something foolish. The warning looks of hubbs dear and brother-in-law were enough to make me smile, but I was crying inside.
He saw an ice-cream vendor. And offered to buy all of us ice cream with HIS money. It was treat from him. When I offered to pay he was offended so I let him pay. He is definitely grown, but when? Why couldn’t I see?
Bus came, he was so excited to see a sleeper bus. I stayed near the car and he went with his chachu and dad to the bus. I could not hold more and tears started flowing, students around, watching me and I was least bothered of anything, crying unabashedly. He turned and stopped, my heart stopped too. I tried to smile, he smiled back, then came running and hugged me.
‘Please don’t cry.’
‘I am not crying, something is gone into my eyes. Please go fast.’
‘Bye mama’ he waved his little hands.
‘Bye betu’ No words came out so I too waved my hand with flying kiss.
I must be looking funny, crying and smiling at the same time. I saw students giving me smiles that made me cry more. I waved him bye, he waved back and doors were shut. When I was sure that bus was gone, I sat in the car and cried like a kid. I was going to miss him every second till he comes back. Hubby was trying to do his best to divert my attention smiling all the way.
My son is eight and it his first time to go anywhere without me. It is three days now, seven more days then we can have our usual routine of shouting and fighting again. I sure am missing him sooooooo much.
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Hi Salil
A warm welcome to my space.
I am touched by your comment. Thankyou so much for droppin in.
Thanks a lot for your lovely words too.:))
Promilla
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I teared up as well after reading this.. Very touching and genuinely authentic. Keep writing.
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Hi Soumya
A warm welcome to my blogs.
Yeah kids grow fast in front of our eyes and we never feel that they are grown.:)
Thank you so much for your cute comment.
Promilla
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A cute blog!
Kids grow up fast. However, for moms, they will always remain kids.
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Hi Seeingeye
I know dear and no resolution can change the scenario
I know it very well that I am going to behave the same way next time.
Thanks for warning me. And a warm thanks for dropping a lovely comment too.
Promilla
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Oh Promilla, youu are such a sweetheart!
this goodbye thing is going to happen again and again!!!
I agree the first time is very hard!
However, I must warn you that EVERTIME is very hard
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Hi Bina
I knowwwwww...this is going to be like that everytime!! All the resolutions of being strong crash the moment we hear that they are leaving.
Thanks for dropping by.:)
promilla
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Hi Amrita
Thankyou so much for liking this blog.
Yeah we are talking almost everyday and he is having a whale of time with his chachu , chachi , kids and grandparents,Thanks a lot.:)))
All moms go thru this in their lives ..many times. Cycle of life is unchanged.
Promilla
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Hi Naval Langa ji
Thank you so much for the words of appreciation.
Glad that you liked it.
Promilla
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promilla
so cute
sorry to say these separation pangs never go away
lol
bina
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