Dear ma.
Writing to you despite staying with you, seems a bit weird, but what I am going to tell yo...
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Dear ma.
Writing to you despite staying with you, seems a bit weird, but what I am going to tell you is not what I dare to talk on your face. It may pain you, it will surely hurt you, but ma I have to take it out.
I remember you always told me that I am your precious son. You told me stories of your fasting for ten days so that you could bear a son. I am your only child and I have witnessed your silent sacrifices, which you were doing to make me comfortable. I remember your sleepless nights, when I was sick and sleeping blissfully. I remember your leaving food just to feed me cause I was crying.
I have seen you with a stick, which you never used on me while making me study. I learned my ABC with your vessels in the kitchen, I learned my counting while you were making chappatis and let me count all. I can never forget the sound of your gold bangles while you worked in the house, I can never wipe the smell of your hugs and kisses which you showered endlessly on me.
I remember Daddy getting mad whenever I bought a stray pup home, but you always came for my rescue and let me play with it for a while. You used to bathe me thrice a day with your antiseptic soaps so that I did not catch any infection.
Daddy used to throw all the stones, wires, eggs of birds, bottles, feathers, key chains that I used to collect with great gusto, but you always were there with a cabinet to keep whatever I wanted. My most horrible things that were literally putrid were kept in that cabinet just to keep me happy.
Ma I can never ever repay whatever you did for me. In my failures you were a rock support and making me strong so that I could do it better next time. In my success you were the first one to cheer me and hug me and shower me with countless blessings. My happiness was your purpose, my stupid things made you proud. Oh ma, you were such a sweet heart, you still are but what went wrong when Reema came into my life?
Ma she knew you were the most important person in my life, she was happy and loving you equally, respecting you more than me. She did not even once utter a foul word against you or anyone.
Ma, you welcomed all kind of things in my life, then why you rejected her? She was the joy of my life, but you were the happiest when she was gone from my life. Why you never welcomed her in your house, or in my life? Why you became so insecure and insensitive when she entered as my wife? You are my goddess, I had made you sit on the pedestal but why you behaved like a devil with her?
Yes she was poor, just in the materialistic side but ma why couldn’t you see her riches? You even did not make any attempt to hear her or us. You stopped eating, because your IT son married a poor girl, you threatened to kill yourself just because you were a laughing stock in your kitty parties, because your daughter in law did not come with loads of dowry?
Ma I can never forget that sly smile on your face when I said yes for divorce. I left my one month bride because you did not approve her. Ma I remember that stray puppy which was more fortunate than poor Reema. Ma I remember all those things kept in the cabinet that had more life than she did. I was dead but first time you were so busy celebrating your cruel deeds that you did not even feel that. You were oblivious of my pain, my torture, and my cries. You were deaf and dumb. You were busy spreading the stories of her ‘mental problems’ and I was slowly turning into a body without soul or spine.
I am your son, so I can not leave you, but do you know I am far away from you, even after staying in same house? Do you know that I am having nightmares like childhood days, where you were always on my pillow, caressing my hair and humming lullaby’s, but I despise to even touch your hand now.
You are getting old and not keeping well, I am wondering should I give this letter to you? I love you ma that’s why I stayed. I can’t forget anything that’s why I stayed. I will stay because you need me. But I can’t forgive you for snatching my sweetest and important thing.
Raghu.
P.S.
The letter was never delivered.
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Hi Sreedhar
Welcome on my blog and thx a lot for your comments.
I'm glad you could feel the sesitivity of the story.
Promilla
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Hi Divya
Thx for coming and commenting...
It is really surprising but it happens all the way. Parents think whatever they do is justified.They even are not ready to see the reasoning behind it. I wish that letter was delivered but u know that too wouldn't have solved the problem. Closed minds, also close eyes.
Promilla
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very well written and touching also. It emphasises the importance expressing the things to your loved ones, barrriers break when people communicate ------ true right
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Promilla,
This fact actually really surprises me all the time.. I have seen and read many stories like this all around me. How can a mom (or for that matter parents) who loves her kid so much not know what gives happiness to him/her.. Very well written as a letter.. If only the letter was delivered, could have solved the problem... would it have ...
Cheers
Divya
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Hi Manoj thx for ur double compliments.
Pain in every human has only one language, which we should understand with heart. whether it is son, or daughter, wife or husband, brother or sister. I can feel thats what made me write this or whatever i write for that matter.
Thanks for ur comments Manoj, I appriciate.
Promilla
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Promilla
A nice piece, feelings of son very well expressed.
But this coming from lady, I mean you, is a surprise.
Mother & Son is very complicated reationship, only they both knows those feelings, expression of those feelings in words is almost impossible by daughter, as it is most difficult to understand.
So coming from lady it earns double compliments.
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Hi Geeta
Thanks for taking ur time to comment on this.
I wish all the Raghus' and moms like this read it and stop spoiling precious lives. Somehow scenario of Indian houses are so much influnced by the mother that kids never dare to live their life on their own.
Promilla
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Hi Gopalkrishnan
welcm on my blog and thank you so much for commenting.
What was going to chage after handing over the letter?
Man needed to stand at the moment but he did not , if he would have been stood by her wife's side then there was no need of this letter.
Promilla
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Hi Roshni
Welcome and thax for dropping in.
Promilla
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