Dear Ma...An Open letter
Dear ma.
Writing to you despite staying with you, seems a bit weird, but what I am going to tell you is not what I dare to talk on your face. It may pain you, it will surely hurt you, but ma I have to take it out.
I remember you always told me that I am your precious son. You told me stories of your fasting for ten days so that you could bear a son. I am your only child and I have witnessed your silent sacrifices, which you were doing to make me comfortable. I remember your sleepless nights, when I was sick and sleeping blissfully. I remember your leaving food just to feed me cause I was crying.
I have seen you with a stick, which you never used on me while making me study. I learned my ABC with your vessels in the kitchen, I learned my counting while you were making chappatis and let me count all. I can never forget the sound of your gold bangles while you worked in the house, I can never wipe the smell of your hugs and kisses which you showered endlessly on me.
I remember Daddy getting mad whenever I bought a stray pup home, but you always came for my rescue and let me play with it for a while. You used to bathe me thrice a day with your antiseptic soaps so that I did not catch any infection.
Daddy used to throw all the stones, wires, eggs of birds, bottles, feathers, key chains that I used to collect with great gusto, but you always were there with a cabinet to keep whatever I wanted. My most horrible things that were literally putrid were kept in that cabinet just to keep me happy.
Ma I can never ever repay whatever you did for me. In my failures you were a rock support and making me strong so that I could do it better next time. In my success you were the first one to cheer me and hug me and shower me with countless blessings. My happiness was your purpose, my stupid things made you proud. Oh ma, you were such a sweet heart, you still are but what went wrong when Reema came into my life?
Ma she knew you were the most important person in my life, she was happy and loving you equally, respecting you more than me. She did not even once utter a foul word against you or anyone.
Ma, you welcomed all kind of things in my life, then why you rejected her? She was the joy of my life, but you were the happiest when she was gone from my life. Why you never welcomed her in your house, or in my life? Why you became so insecure and insensitive when she entered as my wife? You are my goddess, I had made you sit on the pedestal but why you behaved like a devil with her?
Yes she was poor, just in the materialistic side but ma why couldn’t you see her riches? You even did not make any attempt to hear her or us. You stopped eating, because your IT son married a poor girl, you threatened to kill yourself just because you were a laughing stock in your kitty parties, because your daughter in law did not come with loads of dowry?
Ma I can never forget that sly smile on your face when I said yes for divorce. I left my one month bride because you did not approve her. Ma I remember that stray puppy which was more fortunate than poor Reema. Ma I remember all those things kept in the cabinet that had more life than she did. I was dead but first time you were so busy celebrating your cruel deeds that you did not even feel that. You were oblivious of my pain, my torture, and my cries. You were deaf and dumb. You were busy spreading the stories of her ‘mental problems’ and I was slowly turning into a body without soul or spine.
I am your son, so I can not leave you, but do you know I am far away from you, even after staying in same house? Do you know that I am having nightmares like childhood days, where you were always on my pillow, caressing my hair and humming lullaby’s, but I despise to even touch your hand now.
You are getting old and not keeping well, I am wondering should I give this letter to you? I love you ma that’s why I stayed. I can’t forget anything that’s why I stayed. I will stay because you need me. But I can’t forgive you for snatching my sweetest and important thing.
Raghu.
P.S.
The letter was never delivered.
Writing to you despite staying with you, seems a bit weird, but what I am going to tell you is not what I dare to talk on your face. It may pain you, it will surely hurt you, but ma I have to take it out.
I remember you always told me that I am your precious son. You told me stories of your fasting for ten days so that you could bear a son. I am your only child and I have witnessed your silent sacrifices, which you were doing to make me comfortable. I remember your sleepless nights, when I was sick and sleeping blissfully. I remember your leaving food just to feed me cause I was crying.
I have seen you with a stick, which you never used on me while making me study. I learned my ABC with your vessels in the kitchen, I learned my counting while you were making chappatis and let me count all. I can never forget the sound of your gold bangles while you worked in the house, I can never wipe the smell of your hugs and kisses which you showered endlessly on me.
I remember Daddy getting mad whenever I bought a stray pup home, but you always came for my rescue and let me play with it for a while. You used to bathe me thrice a day with your antiseptic soaps so that I did not catch any infection.
Daddy used to throw all the stones, wires, eggs of birds, bottles, feathers, key chains that I used to collect with great gusto, but you always were there with a cabinet to keep whatever I wanted. My most horrible things that were literally putrid were kept in that cabinet just to keep me happy.
Ma I can never ever repay whatever you did for me. In my failures you were a rock support and making me strong so that I could do it better next time. In my success you were the first one to cheer me and hug me and shower me with countless blessings. My happiness was your purpose, my stupid things made you proud. Oh ma, you were such a sweet heart, you still are but what went wrong when Reema came into my life?
Ma she knew you were the most important person in my life, she was happy and loving you equally, respecting you more than me. She did not even once utter a foul word against you or anyone.
Ma, you welcomed all kind of things in my life, then why you rejected her? She was the joy of my life, but you were the happiest when she was gone from my life. Why you never welcomed her in your house, or in my life? Why you became so insecure and insensitive when she entered as my wife? You are my goddess, I had made you sit on the pedestal but why you behaved like a devil with her?
Yes she was poor, just in the materialistic side but ma why couldn’t you see her riches? You even did not make any attempt to hear her or us. You stopped eating, because your IT son married a poor girl, you threatened to kill yourself just because you were a laughing stock in your kitty parties, because your daughter in law did not come with loads of dowry?
Ma I can never forget that sly smile on your face when I said yes for divorce. I left my one month bride because you did not approve her. Ma I remember that stray puppy which was more fortunate than poor Reema. Ma I remember all those things kept in the cabinet that had more life than she did. I was dead but first time you were so busy celebrating your cruel deeds that you did not even feel that. You were oblivious of my pain, my torture, and my cries. You were deaf and dumb. You were busy spreading the stories of her ‘mental problems’ and I was slowly turning into a body without soul or spine.
I am your son, so I can not leave you, but do you know I am far away from you, even after staying in same house? Do you know that I am having nightmares like childhood days, where you were always on my pillow, caressing my hair and humming lullaby’s, but I despise to even touch your hand now.
You are getting old and not keeping well, I am wondering should I give this letter to you? I love you ma that’s why I stayed. I can’t forget anything that’s why I stayed. I will stay because you need me. But I can’t forgive you for snatching my sweetest and important thing.
Raghu.
P.S.
The letter was never delivered.
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